End Game

What am I to think nowadays? My mind is a maze of puzzles with no answers in sight. I have 4 days left before my damn Visa expires. Nobody here has told me what the hell that means. I am scared to death and scared of thinking what LEAVING means. AM I wrong to think this?

Its Saturday and yet another day of work completed with yet again no incentive to work harder. I truly do feel like I am an overpaid babysitter. It has dawned on me that I need to find something better quickly because I don't want to be in this tacky situation forever. I want to find a job to provide more. It worries me that I don't have it...

Today I had 3 tests and my special class. Its a complete waste of time in all seriousness. Tests are a joke. It shows no sign of progress especially when they complain bitterly about what they are doing.

The classes all lied, cheated and talked during my test. I ended up giving some special homework assignments and going off the deep end in one of my tangents.

1. Study English for you this is for you Take more consideration its a gift to learn and you have it..Be Happy Fight.
2. I told some students to quit acting like baby's.
I am sick of dealing with these kids who show no change at all for the past year.
Extra homework two times is over I think I need to be more severe that has been my problem. I will give more homework in the grounds of Translate 10 times. I made one kid translate for 2 hours and I think next time I go to the class I will be giving more homework again.


I hate giving more homework. I hate yelling at the kids because I didn't come to Korea for that. I am a patient guy who is genuinely nice and interested in different cultures, customs, and people in general. I am ashamed that the kids have reduced me to subhuman class.


As I said my boss has given me my own homework as of late and this has kept me plenty busy. I will go to Seoul soon probably late tomorrow just to get my Visa cleared.


Why am I running Cross Country to get my Visa? I don't want to hold out any longer. Whatever it is that I need to do I will do gladly. There is nothing NOTHING NOTHING in this world worth hiding from. I can do it.



I want to end by saying I do enjoy Korea and I do think Korea is wonderful I just wish I knew how to better be here. My deepest wishes are to make things better and work but I am no longer sure on how I can do that.


I am afraid I am losing and don't know how to gain ground. What do I need to do?
I still have a spark in me but I am not so certain of that now.


There will always be complaining students, There will always be work problems, I will always be determined to overcome but I am not entirely sure how to go about. I gotta dig deeper and think more.