After getting up at 7:30 I went to the bus terminal to meet my girlfriend to go to Cheong Ju. It was nice to actually be in a bus again.
I used to not like buses much. I have some strange memories associated with them. For Starters the School busses which are similar to the city transportation Buses have the same stench everywhere you go. My mom used to clean them and the junk my brother and I found was incredible. The only good thing to come out of that was a small payday in which our mom divided the money fairly amongst my brother and I.
I also would take a Limo Bus when I was in Cross Country. Now those were the good ole days. I would ride up with Coach and talk to him about the results of the meet. I thought a lot about that today in the morning about how I wanted to mirror my old idles in high school. Kevin Clary the star runner of the team my freshman year was a perfect example of the runner/person I wanted. When I was a senior I wanted to be a huge part of my team. I do miss that team a lot sometimes.
Anyways back to the bus. I used to get nauseous when I rode in any buses but nowadays I am getting used to it. I like riding in the bus with my Christina. We watch the world fly by outside the window and we for once can just watch be entranced with the happenings of Korea. We are not apart of the chaotic mayhem unfolding outside. I hope that we can go on buses more often.
We got to Cheong Ju around 11 where I waited for my friend and said Goodbye to Christina. Minjae Gim(Kim) my friend came at 12 and we enjoyed a delight at Mr. Pizza walked around the terminal and had some coffee.
It was nice to catch up with her but I think we were both really tired and busy with our things so it was a little uncomfortable for me. Time is of the essence in Korea and its something that I am always short of. At 4:20 Christina and I met up again where we took the bus back to Gumi.
Time is the biggest thing that I am not able to get used to in Korea. I am always feeling a little at a loss because I am not sure what I could do differently. The Korean philosophy is to combine Work and pleasure but in America its a recipe for Disaster.
Everyone I know is busy in Korea and making time for friends and even for just ourselves is to hard. Minjae and I talked about that. I told her I came to Korea in order to escape the obligations I felt at home. I had duty to my college, friends/family and many other things that I got involved in. I wanted to start over. Coming to Korea I have noticed that if you aren't busy its likely to be a huge problem for you later on down the road. Competition is fierce.
Speaking of Competition there is a bread war going on outside my window. Paris Baguette bakery pitted against Tous La Jours they are literally side by side. City planning obviously didnt think of social dynamics. I could used my major to plan cities haha.
Competition here in Korea for high profile jobs is more fierce than in America. In my opinion, Asia is collectivistic because if you can't keep up with the social dynamics of the time you will be left behind. Nobody wants to give someone a job who doesnt have the same skills as most other people. I think therefore it may be hard in Korea for many people.
Anyways, after spending time with Minjae Christina and I headed home we had a good time on the bus again, talking about the happenings in the trip and looking forward to the things that will come^^
Once I got back I wont lie I felt a small pain of loss. I can't explain it but I think I need to make a way to work harder. Its now March and I know I am going to be so busy. I am so lucky though today to have been in the company of a good friend and more so spending time with my darling. My feeling when I left is really unimportant and I just think I have to figure out and find out what my dilemma is in the books I bought and in my wayward journey. March is going to give me a perfect way to test my aptitude.
I went to Kim (GIM) bob afterwards for my dinner. Its cheap and good actually. I had Dong asu which is actually really good. Here I am now I am just waiting to begin anew and I can't wait until tomorrow!
This is a quote from my favorite tv show hence the TITLE its fitting!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monthly Report
Well I am going to start writing one of these each month at the closure of the month.
Its a Leap year wow go figure an extra day in the year who would've thought.
Life at Yale
Its an adventure everyday and after 9 months I should be getting used to it but I am still not. It is in my opinion that there is not much that is consistent at Yale. My Darling is a wonderful teacher and she is excellent at what she does. I am continuously surprised at her patience and her ability to do well in the classroom day in and day out.
Each day I go there and I feel like I give it my best but truthfully my best has yet to be met because I know I am capable of more. I have seen so many changes take place that its hard for me to adapt to each one.
I have many things to improve on but here are the things that I have learned especially this month.
* I want to become better at what I do. I have language problems with the kids and controlling issues as well. I didnt think I would have Kindgarten to high school aged kids when I first got here. If I had known that I may have reconsidered. Thank God I didn't refuse! Each month I have seen a steady improvement in the amount of time and energy I put forward in my projects.
March I have some personal projects to get me through the work day. I am hoping that I can reach out to the kids more and improve their classes. What does this mean? It will mean I will punish more and as I said weed out the garden
I think I let my garden grow some weeds in the last two weeks I didnt do anything to anyone for awhile. I smiled and nodded when they showed disrespect. It was hard for me to do anything but my boss just blames me and wouldn't do anything anyways.
I have new classes and now I will have to get used to a new set of textbooks. Mr. Jeong may have made some kids leave. I feel a little bad because the kids who leave I always like but then again it makes me job easier.
I want more work I know this. My boss doesnt give me much work except easy things that are truly not important. My place is mainly in the classroom as an overpaid babysitter because I still haven't figure out how to teach.
I know many kids are happy that I will be their teacher but I hope that it will be good too. I am scared to see some newcomers because some of them are truly bad kids who dont belong here at all. They gave me heartache when I first got here.
Febraury has seen a lot of changes in everything. I am going to see a new format, style and work way at Yale. I am going to organize my personal life better and I am going to try to rectify my mistakes.
There are so many things to improve upon.
At work starting on March 3rd I am going to put more energy into the classes. I think I can improve my teaching.
I am struggling with many things in Korea still though. This is a universal problem but I am noticing that people are looking at Where they are going more than How they are getting there. My books that I have been reading lately are about the journey and not so much the destination.
All I can do is try harder and find a possible solution.
At the Closure of this month though I do know what my future goals are and hope I can find someway to find them before its too late.
Its a Leap year wow go figure an extra day in the year who would've thought.
Life at Yale
Its an adventure everyday and after 9 months I should be getting used to it but I am still not. It is in my opinion that there is not much that is consistent at Yale. My Darling is a wonderful teacher and she is excellent at what she does. I am continuously surprised at her patience and her ability to do well in the classroom day in and day out.
Each day I go there and I feel like I give it my best but truthfully my best has yet to be met because I know I am capable of more. I have seen so many changes take place that its hard for me to adapt to each one.
I have many things to improve on but here are the things that I have learned especially this month.
* I want to become better at what I do. I have language problems with the kids and controlling issues as well. I didnt think I would have Kindgarten to high school aged kids when I first got here. If I had known that I may have reconsidered. Thank God I didn't refuse! Each month I have seen a steady improvement in the amount of time and energy I put forward in my projects.
March I have some personal projects to get me through the work day. I am hoping that I can reach out to the kids more and improve their classes. What does this mean? It will mean I will punish more and as I said weed out the garden
I think I let my garden grow some weeds in the last two weeks I didnt do anything to anyone for awhile. I smiled and nodded when they showed disrespect. It was hard for me to do anything but my boss just blames me and wouldn't do anything anyways.
I have new classes and now I will have to get used to a new set of textbooks. Mr. Jeong may have made some kids leave. I feel a little bad because the kids who leave I always like but then again it makes me job easier.
I want more work I know this. My boss doesnt give me much work except easy things that are truly not important. My place is mainly in the classroom as an overpaid babysitter because I still haven't figure out how to teach.
I know many kids are happy that I will be their teacher but I hope that it will be good too. I am scared to see some newcomers because some of them are truly bad kids who dont belong here at all. They gave me heartache when I first got here.
Febraury has seen a lot of changes in everything. I am going to see a new format, style and work way at Yale. I am going to organize my personal life better and I am going to try to rectify my mistakes.
There are so many things to improve upon.
At work starting on March 3rd I am going to put more energy into the classes. I think I can improve my teaching.
I am struggling with many things in Korea still though. This is a universal problem but I am noticing that people are looking at Where they are going more than How they are getting there. My books that I have been reading lately are about the journey and not so much the destination.
All I can do is try harder and find a possible solution.
At the Closure of this month though I do know what my future goals are and hope I can find someway to find them before its too late.
Atrocious Behaviour
This blog is going to be two part.
I began my day with the intent of finishing of the month in style. I wanted to make the best possible finish to February before the new schedule arrives. Today may or may not be the last day of R/R before Reckoning will come.
I cleaned my house, went to Mcdonalds which I need to stop doing, and read some books. I also talked to the Pops for awhile.
I went to work and unfortunately many things were just plain weird. Sometimes I feel like after almost 9 months I have fully adapted and am ready for anything and other days I realize I make too many mistakes at times. I really need to work harder about that.
I developed a headache that unfortunately lasted me most of the day during teaching.
MA1: I felt bad because my favorite kid is leaving, and the two twins who really like me I made them feel bad because I dont call them by their English name. I prefer calling them their Korean name but apparently I made them unhappy.
I feel frusterated because I just want to improve their English but most of the kids dont listen to me no matter how hard I try.
MC3: They listened to me well today and maybe it was because I told them Mr. Jeong was going to come but he didnt. My boss is bothering me with his unactions that he is doing in the Academy.
he came to Chrisitna and I and gave us some new random ridiculous assignment. Please stamp the books what page you teach today. I think its his way of checking our progress even more but he isn't focusing on the bigger issues at hand.
MC1: After a week or two of absolutely no talking in class. They were hard to control. I felt OTL dealing with them today. JACK was absent today
MD1: There were many absent students. Sungjin was absent today.
They are brothers I heard that Jack was cheating possibly. I hope they didnt leave but I wouldnt be surprised if they did.
MD2: quick and painless. Ciarra was happy that Mr. J wouldn't be their teacher next week. She is TC1..
I am thinking Mr. J will not teach TC1 but I could be wrong.
Carrie quit today. She left without saying goodbye to me. I could care less, but she didnt say goodbye to Chrisitna either. She just got up and left right after the class was over. Maybe sooner than that too I am not sure. My boss is weird, Carrie is insane and things at Yale are whatever.
Carrie good ridance. Today she said so many stupid things
1. MY work here was terrible time.
2. That kid is stupid he can't read his handwriting. Jerry is pretty smart actually.
3. I am so happy because I am leaving
4). She slapped the back of one of the kids hard enough where I could hear it and it wasn't right.
Carrie was disgraceful. Mr. Jeong is crazy and he shouldnt have threatened her but Carrie deserves what she gets.
After teaching I got mad again at myself because the kids never tell me the truth. They go to Christina for help with my homework. I dont know if I am the only foreigner who has had this problem or if I am doing something wrong but NO ONE WILL TELL ME. It makes me sad that after 8 going on 9 months I still can't communicate with the kids in a proper way.
Homework is the biggest problem here I think. The Academy rule says do your homework or leave and frankly there should be more leaving. Cindy gave me 3 homeworks today and I checked them all.
I look at the Date and Teacher For example:
February 27th N Teacher
If the page has a lot of writing on it (1/2 page) I count it. Truthfully some kids shouldnt be here because of their poor homework. I have kids who can't write at all and are in a high class simply because of their age. I think some MA1 kids are smarter than some of my MC students.
I was really bothered because the kids dont even try at all to ask me for help.
After work I went to a tent and had some food I am too lazy to cook tonight.
As I said this is a two part post.
I began my day with the intent of finishing of the month in style. I wanted to make the best possible finish to February before the new schedule arrives. Today may or may not be the last day of R/R before Reckoning will come.
I cleaned my house, went to Mcdonalds which I need to stop doing, and read some books. I also talked to the Pops for awhile.
I went to work and unfortunately many things were just plain weird. Sometimes I feel like after almost 9 months I have fully adapted and am ready for anything and other days I realize I make too many mistakes at times. I really need to work harder about that.
I developed a headache that unfortunately lasted me most of the day during teaching.
MA1: I felt bad because my favorite kid is leaving, and the two twins who really like me I made them feel bad because I dont call them by their English name. I prefer calling them their Korean name but apparently I made them unhappy.
I feel frusterated because I just want to improve their English but most of the kids dont listen to me no matter how hard I try.
MC3: They listened to me well today and maybe it was because I told them Mr. Jeong was going to come but he didnt. My boss is bothering me with his unactions that he is doing in the Academy.
he came to Chrisitna and I and gave us some new random ridiculous assignment. Please stamp the books what page you teach today. I think its his way of checking our progress even more but he isn't focusing on the bigger issues at hand.
MC1: After a week or two of absolutely no talking in class. They were hard to control. I felt OTL dealing with them today. JACK was absent today
MD1: There were many absent students. Sungjin was absent today.
They are brothers I heard that Jack was cheating possibly. I hope they didnt leave but I wouldnt be surprised if they did.
MD2: quick and painless. Ciarra was happy that Mr. J wouldn't be their teacher next week. She is TC1..
I am thinking Mr. J will not teach TC1 but I could be wrong.
Carrie quit today. She left without saying goodbye to me. I could care less, but she didnt say goodbye to Chrisitna either. She just got up and left right after the class was over. Maybe sooner than that too I am not sure. My boss is weird, Carrie is insane and things at Yale are whatever.
Carrie good ridance. Today she said so many stupid things
1. MY work here was terrible time.
2. That kid is stupid he can't read his handwriting. Jerry is pretty smart actually.
3. I am so happy because I am leaving
4). She slapped the back of one of the kids hard enough where I could hear it and it wasn't right.
Carrie was disgraceful. Mr. Jeong is crazy and he shouldnt have threatened her but Carrie deserves what she gets.
After teaching I got mad again at myself because the kids never tell me the truth. They go to Christina for help with my homework. I dont know if I am the only foreigner who has had this problem or if I am doing something wrong but NO ONE WILL TELL ME. It makes me sad that after 8 going on 9 months I still can't communicate with the kids in a proper way.
Homework is the biggest problem here I think. The Academy rule says do your homework or leave and frankly there should be more leaving. Cindy gave me 3 homeworks today and I checked them all.
I look at the Date and Teacher For example:
February 27th N Teacher
If the page has a lot of writing on it (1/2 page) I count it. Truthfully some kids shouldnt be here because of their poor homework. I have kids who can't write at all and are in a high class simply because of their age. I think some MA1 kids are smarter than some of my MC students.
I was really bothered because the kids dont even try at all to ask me for help.
After work I went to a tent and had some food I am too lazy to cook tonight.
As I said this is a two part post.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Making progress
The best day of the week a chance to clear my mind and literally envision a fast care free work week. I really hope that the coming of March will bring nothing but good fortune to our workplace.
Today I got up extra early to do my laundry, call one of my best friends, and relax a little bit before the day go going.
I am so happy today~ I am enjoying everything there is to do right now. My darling came over and cooked me a wonderful meal. It was so good and I can't wait until I can cook her something special. She is the best in everything that she is and does. I am blown away.
Work was good too..
The morning crew was able to control themselves a little better than usual. I managed to get through my first class with no problems. In fact I was wrapping up lessons in each class. MA2-MB2-MB3 all the same.
Happenings because the youngest kid wasn't present the class went smoothly
MB3: All I can say is I will look forward to the schedule change.
MB2: I am bored with the class but I try to have fun to pass the time quicker. It worked. I sang and they laughed so I was happy. For once they laugh with me and not ignoring me.
TC1: My Survivor...There were 8 now there is 1. How sad.
MArch is my month I know this for sure. I will make more kids come or I believe I will make the kids who dont belong here leave.
I only had 4 classes today so i spent the remainder of the work day prepping for the rest of the month-just tomorrow. March is a surprise to me unfortunately. If I could prepare better I would but I am scared to see what will come. Hopefully it will be good in all aspects.
All I know is that I dont want work to be stressful and if it is I want to figure out a way to alleviate it. It isn't good to feel stress.
Until tomorrow..
I just finished eating many snacks I think I need to hit the sack
Today I got up extra early to do my laundry, call one of my best friends, and relax a little bit before the day go going.
I am so happy today~ I am enjoying everything there is to do right now. My darling came over and cooked me a wonderful meal. It was so good and I can't wait until I can cook her something special. She is the best in everything that she is and does. I am blown away.
Work was good too..
The morning crew was able to control themselves a little better than usual. I managed to get through my first class with no problems. In fact I was wrapping up lessons in each class. MA2-MB2-MB3 all the same.
Happenings because the youngest kid wasn't present the class went smoothly
MB3: All I can say is I will look forward to the schedule change.
MB2: I am bored with the class but I try to have fun to pass the time quicker. It worked. I sang and they laughed so I was happy. For once they laugh with me and not ignoring me.
TC1: My Survivor...There were 8 now there is 1. How sad.
MArch is my month I know this for sure. I will make more kids come or I believe I will make the kids who dont belong here leave.
I only had 4 classes today so i spent the remainder of the work day prepping for the rest of the month-just tomorrow. March is a surprise to me unfortunately. If I could prepare better I would but I am scared to see what will come. Hopefully it will be good in all aspects.
All I know is that I dont want work to be stressful and if it is I want to figure out a way to alleviate it. It isn't good to feel stress.
Until tomorrow..
I just finished eating many snacks I think I need to hit the sack
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Momentous Moments of Mystery and Marvel
I was captured in many wonderful moments today! My rice burned and it was the best thing that could've happened actually!
I cooked a wonderful meal that was rated an 8 out of 10. It was a wonderful way to start my day. Life here comes in Waves like the Ocean. Sometimes Its a psunami and sometimes it gently laps against the shore. I am talking about the stress and demands that come from Room 208? Is that the right number I should check tomorrow, anyways its my directors room.
A harmonious morning left me feeling anything was possible. I didnt care about some things that I normally would have cared because everything is truly fine in my life. I couldn't be happier with how things are going!
Tomorrow is a different day and just like everything in Life its unpredicable.
Work was fast and relatively painless. I am having some difficulty still in the younger classes but I am managing still.
MA1: I didnt know what to do with the material I was going to teach. I am nervous with the kids because they talk in Korean (naturally) and I can't communicate well with them. I use poor english but I can't get my point across
MB1: Same Story just a little older. I can't wait until March so much!!!!!
The boys in that class are going to feel my wrath because I am tired of getting walked over by them. If I had it my way I would make Luis and Mark/Peter/Alexander leave.
Maybe a new textbook and spring start will get them in gear. I doubt it
MC2: Enjoyable bunch. I am going to be happy when OH2 is finished. I am hoping Mr. Jeong has a good plan for them as far as a new textbook is concerned
MC3: This class needs a complete make-over. I blame Carrie her speed and lack of caring has turned the class into a bunch of kids who can't concentrate. Poor Diane she used to be Christina's and now she is horrible. I am happy Molly didnt level up with her because of how Carrie has handled this class.
MD3: Joy luck club....They dont really talk much these days except if its to interupt me. They have no excitement it would seem
Md1: hard to control a few kids. Is Tom a Koji Mar? I dont think so but he lacks control. Kojimar:liar mar: horse moon: door I know my Korean!!
~~~~~~~My moments of Magic
1. When I went to MB1 some of the kids were doing homework and I didnt notice except that Alexander pointed it out. I was angry that he was telling me because it wasn't his business.
*I try to teach life lessons
Dont talk about things that aren't your business. I see some of the students have a genuine interest in learning while others dont. Its my hope to turn their opinions to wanting to care and learn about english or have them leave for ruining my class. I think I may have to call Mr. Jeong more.
Mc2: Angel is a wonderful student of mine. I wish she would be a T class so I could grade her. I want to talk to Mr. Jeong about more change in March.
MD3: Trying Again a chapter that originally scared me but actually was a good life lesson to
Try Again: Dont Quit. Be a Fighter. I told the class that if you have a bad day or get a bad test just try harder. I was being indirect about this because I want the kids to think about life and how to overcome difficulties I talked about me and how I overcame things since being in Korea
and how I think its important to shrug things off. I was thinking primarily of Ann who would later recieve her poor test grade. Ann has gone downhill a little bit to me since she hasnt really done anything lately.
One thing I have a problem with is that I dont think kids really have a chance to be individuals. Its my opinion but everyone does the same thing. They show homework and they have distinctive personality in class but other than an email which no one really does there isn't much way for the kids to distinguish themselves.
I see this a lot when my Ma class ends and the "herd" pushes themselves through the door just to get to class. There is no sense of wait in Korea. Its kind of everyone for themselves. I dont get it. I see kids pushing their way to get into the class faster. In a fast paced society I can understand a little bit but from my point of view its hard to explain.
During my break time I wrote questions on the computer for the new books and drank some mocha coffee at the bank. Its so nice to just relax and enjoy work when their isn't distractions like the arrival of all the kids. They insessant opening and knocking on the door. I also want to go to my boss about this but I also think its best to not say anything at all at times. I am not going to complain about things as much because I know my boundaries.
I know my aspiration and I will work hard to attain that. Nothing else is important its merely a sidestep to avoid. Everyone who knows me well knows where my heart lies and how important it is to me that I work hard in order to see my true dream come true.
My day was a good day and I am going to bed here shortly knowing that I am keeping real busy and still have a lot to do.
I will never forget some of the happenings that occurred before/during/after work because they were magical to me.
I have some events in my life that are memorable and represent a change of heart/changing experience.
I cooked a wonderful meal that was rated an 8 out of 10. It was a wonderful way to start my day. Life here comes in Waves like the Ocean. Sometimes Its a psunami and sometimes it gently laps against the shore. I am talking about the stress and demands that come from Room 208? Is that the right number I should check tomorrow, anyways its my directors room.
A harmonious morning left me feeling anything was possible. I didnt care about some things that I normally would have cared because everything is truly fine in my life. I couldn't be happier with how things are going!
Tomorrow is a different day and just like everything in Life its unpredicable.
Work was fast and relatively painless. I am having some difficulty still in the younger classes but I am managing still.
MA1: I didnt know what to do with the material I was going to teach. I am nervous with the kids because they talk in Korean (naturally) and I can't communicate well with them. I use poor english but I can't get my point across
MB1: Same Story just a little older. I can't wait until March so much!!!!!
The boys in that class are going to feel my wrath because I am tired of getting walked over by them. If I had it my way I would make Luis and Mark/Peter/Alexander leave.
Maybe a new textbook and spring start will get them in gear. I doubt it
MC2: Enjoyable bunch. I am going to be happy when OH2 is finished. I am hoping Mr. Jeong has a good plan for them as far as a new textbook is concerned
MC3: This class needs a complete make-over. I blame Carrie her speed and lack of caring has turned the class into a bunch of kids who can't concentrate. Poor Diane she used to be Christina's and now she is horrible. I am happy Molly didnt level up with her because of how Carrie has handled this class.
MD3: Joy luck club....They dont really talk much these days except if its to interupt me. They have no excitement it would seem
Md1: hard to control a few kids. Is Tom a Koji Mar? I dont think so but he lacks control. Kojimar:liar mar: horse moon: door I know my Korean!!
~~~~~~~My moments of Magic
1. When I went to MB1 some of the kids were doing homework and I didnt notice except that Alexander pointed it out. I was angry that he was telling me because it wasn't his business.
*I try to teach life lessons
Dont talk about things that aren't your business. I see some of the students have a genuine interest in learning while others dont. Its my hope to turn their opinions to wanting to care and learn about english or have them leave for ruining my class. I think I may have to call Mr. Jeong more.
Mc2: Angel is a wonderful student of mine. I wish she would be a T class so I could grade her. I want to talk to Mr. Jeong about more change in March.
MD3: Trying Again a chapter that originally scared me but actually was a good life lesson to
Try Again: Dont Quit. Be a Fighter. I told the class that if you have a bad day or get a bad test just try harder. I was being indirect about this because I want the kids to think about life and how to overcome difficulties I talked about me and how I overcame things since being in Korea
and how I think its important to shrug things off. I was thinking primarily of Ann who would later recieve her poor test grade. Ann has gone downhill a little bit to me since she hasnt really done anything lately.
One thing I have a problem with is that I dont think kids really have a chance to be individuals. Its my opinion but everyone does the same thing. They show homework and they have distinctive personality in class but other than an email which no one really does there isn't much way for the kids to distinguish themselves.
I see this a lot when my Ma class ends and the "herd" pushes themselves through the door just to get to class. There is no sense of wait in Korea. Its kind of everyone for themselves. I dont get it. I see kids pushing their way to get into the class faster. In a fast paced society I can understand a little bit but from my point of view its hard to explain.
During my break time I wrote questions on the computer for the new books and drank some mocha coffee at the bank. Its so nice to just relax and enjoy work when their isn't distractions like the arrival of all the kids. They insessant opening and knocking on the door. I also want to go to my boss about this but I also think its best to not say anything at all at times. I am not going to complain about things as much because I know my boundaries.
I know my aspiration and I will work hard to attain that. Nothing else is important its merely a sidestep to avoid. Everyone who knows me well knows where my heart lies and how important it is to me that I work hard in order to see my true dream come true.
My day was a good day and I am going to bed here shortly knowing that I am keeping real busy and still have a lot to do.
I will never forget some of the happenings that occurred before/during/after work because they were magical to me.
I have some events in my life that are memorable and represent a change of heart/changing experience.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Making a Mountain
My day was begun with determination to resolve and fix things that were previously broken. I had a long night were I was more or less in a trance. I felt horrible with worry and bad feelings that were not needed to be thought of. Since coming here I have developed as a person and have become a lot more serious in my life about all matters that are pertinent.
For the first time I have cares in my life. Cares are what makes us go. According to the book I am reading "The Pilgrimage" Enthusiasm is what makes life interesting. Knowing that we have the energy and interest to face each task and challenge undaunted by the fragility and fleeting beauty that entrances us gives us the courage to continue on in our "fight"
I am interested in learning more. I will post some websites that I want to check out more as time goes by..
I dont know how to say this its kind of difficult and really personal:
I have had a lot of doubt follow me in my life. Every obstacle that I went into was met with skepticism and scorn at least that's how I feel about.
I had people doubt my ability to graduate and be able to sustain myself on some sort of job. I had most people doubt I could survive Korea. Most people I knew including my best friends said I would be coming home in a body bag. I remember the last day I was in America. People said are you scared and I said No. I didnt say anything else. I wasnt scared.
I embraced the change willingly and open hearted. I didnt know what would happen but I was content with the journey that would unfold before me.
I have had people tell me you should quit and just come home. They said this after Halloween, Christmas, this month, anytime I want to come home just do it.
I thought about it but now I am in my last 3 months March is just around the corner.
After this job I am really scared and nervous to see what could happen. I think about things constantly. Why? I dont know but I do know that I have developed a strategy at work that gets the job done. Lately its brought no ill feelings. I am not mad at Mr. Jeong for treating me poorly he hasn't for awhile. In fact he is too busy to notice my problems so therefore work remains easy for me.
I am wanting to work harder and will plan on doing so somedays of the week. I am going to put in some extra hours if I can sometime and try to get more ahead. I am putting together a few books and its a painfully excruciating process. On Thursday I will have more time to put it together. I have 3 breaks that will go way to fast.
Class Report
Ma2: I had a kid attack me (playfully) but he did it too much. he is the same one who bit me and I decided I needed my boss yet again. This is the first time I asked him for help since he refused my need when I complained about the kid biting me. Its literally a zoo in the morning.
I dont know if I have any readers but to any readers back home... its literally a zoo in the morning. I hear them coming and I have to hide everything thats potentially eatable. A kid wants to bite my nose and frankly its lost its humor. I have kids hugging me sitting on my lap. Combing my hair with their hands, biting at my nose, and going through my things. I am surprised they dont take my clothes off oh wait they do that too or try. Some of the boys think its funny to sneak up behind me and grab my gochu (penis) or try to.
They also do this: http://baboshirts.com/Shirts/DdongchimTee.html
NOT FUNNY at All.
I dont enjoy the Kindergarden mornings (everyday) ITs to hard for me to control.
MB2: My cow class. They are still slow. They dont really talk to me and it bothers me. I copy word for word out of the textbook and I also use my humor, and MA level English and nothing works. I can't wait until march.
Tc2: 2 students wow. I have 5 and I think most of them will drop. I personally dont care because I have enough work to do with the other kids who are much more motivated. This class is one of the worst.
Td2: I feel bad. My best student is leaving the Academy. I feel bad because I hope every tuesday that she doesnt come. I teach one student and I have to speak a lot about words I dont even know. Its TOEFL words that only are used in some contexts. She gave me a fairwell present too. I told Christina I hope she doesnt come and 1 minute later she came. I think the Academy shouldnt have 1 student classes its a waste of teaching time.
Td1: I was in a good mood. My darling was making faces at me as I taught and I wasn't really feeling like teaching to hard. Why? I have to restructure the class and so I just had a good time. I even gave no homework... just reading homework. My boss never checks this class and its mine so I wanted to do more.
That was the day... Life at Yale Hawgwan is up and down but one thing is for sure I should try to ride the highs with the lows. I am wanting to climb mountains.
Climb Mountains is Do the Unattainable. I want to prove myself and silence the doubters. I have no idea about my next jaunt and the thought of that scares me more than teaching and living in korea.
I have a busy March planned in the Making.
I know Life/Work is going to be stressful but I want to soak up everything I can possibly do before ...
For the first time I have cares in my life. Cares are what makes us go. According to the book I am reading "The Pilgrimage" Enthusiasm is what makes life interesting. Knowing that we have the energy and interest to face each task and challenge undaunted by the fragility and fleeting beauty that entrances us gives us the courage to continue on in our "fight"
I am interested in learning more. I will post some websites that I want to check out more as time goes by..
I dont know how to say this its kind of difficult and really personal:
I have had a lot of doubt follow me in my life. Every obstacle that I went into was met with skepticism and scorn at least that's how I feel about.
I had people doubt my ability to graduate and be able to sustain myself on some sort of job. I had most people doubt I could survive Korea. Most people I knew including my best friends said I would be coming home in a body bag. I remember the last day I was in America. People said are you scared and I said No. I didnt say anything else. I wasnt scared.
I embraced the change willingly and open hearted. I didnt know what would happen but I was content with the journey that would unfold before me.
I have had people tell me you should quit and just come home. They said this after Halloween, Christmas, this month, anytime I want to come home just do it.
I thought about it but now I am in my last 3 months March is just around the corner.
After this job I am really scared and nervous to see what could happen. I think about things constantly. Why? I dont know but I do know that I have developed a strategy at work that gets the job done. Lately its brought no ill feelings. I am not mad at Mr. Jeong for treating me poorly he hasn't for awhile. In fact he is too busy to notice my problems so therefore work remains easy for me.
I am wanting to work harder and will plan on doing so somedays of the week. I am going to put in some extra hours if I can sometime and try to get more ahead. I am putting together a few books and its a painfully excruciating process. On Thursday I will have more time to put it together. I have 3 breaks that will go way to fast.
Class Report
Ma2: I had a kid attack me (playfully) but he did it too much. he is the same one who bit me and I decided I needed my boss yet again. This is the first time I asked him for help since he refused my need when I complained about the kid biting me. Its literally a zoo in the morning.
I dont know if I have any readers but to any readers back home... its literally a zoo in the morning. I hear them coming and I have to hide everything thats potentially eatable. A kid wants to bite my nose and frankly its lost its humor. I have kids hugging me sitting on my lap. Combing my hair with their hands, biting at my nose, and going through my things. I am surprised they dont take my clothes off oh wait they do that too or try. Some of the boys think its funny to sneak up behind me and grab my gochu (penis) or try to.
They also do this: http://baboshirts.com/Shirts/DdongchimTee.html
NOT FUNNY at All.
I dont enjoy the Kindergarden mornings (everyday) ITs to hard for me to control.
MB2: My cow class. They are still slow. They dont really talk to me and it bothers me. I copy word for word out of the textbook and I also use my humor, and MA level English and nothing works. I can't wait until march.
Tc2: 2 students wow. I have 5 and I think most of them will drop. I personally dont care because I have enough work to do with the other kids who are much more motivated. This class is one of the worst.
Td2: I feel bad. My best student is leaving the Academy. I feel bad because I hope every tuesday that she doesnt come. I teach one student and I have to speak a lot about words I dont even know. Its TOEFL words that only are used in some contexts. She gave me a fairwell present too. I told Christina I hope she doesnt come and 1 minute later she came. I think the Academy shouldnt have 1 student classes its a waste of teaching time.
Td1: I was in a good mood. My darling was making faces at me as I taught and I wasn't really feeling like teaching to hard. Why? I have to restructure the class and so I just had a good time. I even gave no homework... just reading homework. My boss never checks this class and its mine so I wanted to do more.
That was the day... Life at Yale Hawgwan is up and down but one thing is for sure I should try to ride the highs with the lows. I am wanting to climb mountains.
Climb Mountains is Do the Unattainable. I want to prove myself and silence the doubters. I have no idea about my next jaunt and the thought of that scares me more than teaching and living in korea.
I have a busy March planned in the Making.
I know Life/Work is going to be stressful but I want to soak up everything I can possibly do before ...
Monday, February 25, 2008
Manic Monday
Nothing much to write about Classes were ok. I had 6 in a row.
Its the last week of February.
I am trying to brace myself for a nice month in March.
Right now I am making many mistakes and I dont know what I can do about them. I am going to bed right now because I feel horrible. I wish I knew what the answer was.
Work isn't supposed to be as stressful as it apparently is. I want to make work more enjoyable but I dont know how.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is Manic Monday Part II
I went to bed last night feeling horrible. Maybe its a Monday thing. I think everyone in the world can agree Monday is the worst day of the week. Its just back to the grind. Working at Yale poses many challenges.
I think Life abroad has been difficult for me at times but thats how life goes.
This week represents no particular events that stand out at the Academy. However, this is the final week of February and the closure of what could be called the semester. There will be huge changes in March.
I will have more kids. There will be no Ma2 class. Carrie will be gone. The school is essentiall being restructured.I am looking forward to the changes.
Yesterday, my darling was super busy on the phone. WE went to work early in order to get some extra work done.
I am trying to compile a book for my boss for a couple classes. I am trying because its going to be necessary to have things done in March but its still a slow process.
I know work is OTL and also things are happening beyond our control but I wish we could find a way to relax. I listen to Korean all the time. I have kids screaming in our office, I have kids who will not listen to simple instructions like please go away, be quiet, get out of my chair, things like this and yet I put up with it.
I learned a long time ago that its best not to complain. I am just wanting to enjoy the time I have and not worry about ridiculous things. I do like going to work and I like being a teacher. I think Yale has some huge problems but unfortunately I can't do anything about it.
Earlier this week I wanted to work more but I can't because I have to wait for my boss or whatever to finish something. I dont have a problem with working hard but no one seems to talk to me so I feel in the dark. I am living and learning but all I want is to find a way that's all.
Nothing is more important to me than just enjoying the time I have. I am dedicated to being the best I can be in work, my personal life etc. I feel shame when I fail at anything. I dont understand why my effort is not good enough.
As I said maybe its just a Monday thing but I felt very bad last night for not being able to understand the situation. ITs now Tuesday and I am hping to work harder on my endeavors and forget the happening of yesterday.
Its the last week of February.
I am trying to brace myself for a nice month in March.
Right now I am making many mistakes and I dont know what I can do about them. I am going to bed right now because I feel horrible. I wish I knew what the answer was.
Work isn't supposed to be as stressful as it apparently is. I want to make work more enjoyable but I dont know how.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is Manic Monday Part II
I went to bed last night feeling horrible. Maybe its a Monday thing. I think everyone in the world can agree Monday is the worst day of the week. Its just back to the grind. Working at Yale poses many challenges.
I think Life abroad has been difficult for me at times but thats how life goes.
This week represents no particular events that stand out at the Academy. However, this is the final week of February and the closure of what could be called the semester. There will be huge changes in March.
I will have more kids. There will be no Ma2 class. Carrie will be gone. The school is essentiall being restructured.I am looking forward to the changes.
Yesterday, my darling was super busy on the phone. WE went to work early in order to get some extra work done.
I am trying to compile a book for my boss for a couple classes. I am trying because its going to be necessary to have things done in March but its still a slow process.
I know work is OTL and also things are happening beyond our control but I wish we could find a way to relax. I listen to Korean all the time. I have kids screaming in our office, I have kids who will not listen to simple instructions like please go away, be quiet, get out of my chair, things like this and yet I put up with it.
I learned a long time ago that its best not to complain. I am just wanting to enjoy the time I have and not worry about ridiculous things. I do like going to work and I like being a teacher. I think Yale has some huge problems but unfortunately I can't do anything about it.
Earlier this week I wanted to work more but I can't because I have to wait for my boss or whatever to finish something. I dont have a problem with working hard but no one seems to talk to me so I feel in the dark. I am living and learning but all I want is to find a way that's all.
Nothing is more important to me than just enjoying the time I have. I am dedicated to being the best I can be in work, my personal life etc. I feel shame when I fail at anything. I dont understand why my effort is not good enough.
As I said maybe its just a Monday thing but I felt very bad last night for not being able to understand the situation. ITs now Tuesday and I am hping to work harder on my endeavors and forget the happening of yesterday.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Mind Tricks
I am afraid to go to sleep these days. my dreams are vivid and scaring me. I literally thought I was sleeping in my bed at my home in America today ans woke up in a fit of sorrow for leaving Korea so suddenly. I almost had a heartache until I realized that I was still in my apartment. I am quite frankly scared about my mind.
I got up early 8 am in order to motivate myself for a special day. I had a quick breakfast at Mcdonalds and tried to just picture myself calmly in the music that was playing. I felt energized and ready to face my fears but for some reason I still stood uncertainly.
I went to the Bookstore and bought another Paulo Coehlo book for some reason I like his stories and are giving me some inspiration for the rest of my sojourn here.
WE went to Indong today for a meeting with Pearl an old friend of ours. Paradise is a buffet style restaurant that has very good food. It was nice to see Pearl again. I enjoyed good steak and many other foods. I went home around 5:30 wishing that I had been able to spend a little bit more time~ I am feeling scared about a lot of things right now.
It is my hope that a good work week to top of the month of Febraury will be good. This week will be really busy. Its the last week that there will be an ma2 class! I will be excited to see the changes.
~~~~~~~~~~
Its been a rough weekend for me unfortunately. I wasn't mentally prepared for anything. MAybe I am getting sick but I just feel real terrible right now. Maybe on Monday it will pass.
more later its the last week of February let it shine:)
I got up early 8 am in order to motivate myself for a special day. I had a quick breakfast at Mcdonalds and tried to just picture myself calmly in the music that was playing. I felt energized and ready to face my fears but for some reason I still stood uncertainly.
I went to the Bookstore and bought another Paulo Coehlo book for some reason I like his stories and are giving me some inspiration for the rest of my sojourn here.
WE went to Indong today for a meeting with Pearl an old friend of ours. Paradise is a buffet style restaurant that has very good food. It was nice to see Pearl again. I enjoyed good steak and many other foods. I went home around 5:30 wishing that I had been able to spend a little bit more time~ I am feeling scared about a lot of things right now.
It is my hope that a good work week to top of the month of Febraury will be good. This week will be really busy. Its the last week that there will be an ma2 class! I will be excited to see the changes.
~~~~~~~~~~
Its been a rough weekend for me unfortunately. I wasn't mentally prepared for anything. MAybe I am getting sick but I just feel real terrible right now. Maybe on Monday it will pass.
more later its the last week of February let it shine:)
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