Ghost

Today I felt very alone. I shouldn't feel this way but for whatever reason I did. I woke up early did a lot of work around the house. Read my book, cleaned my house, made grocery lists and thought of some new ideas to try out soon.

I went to a lunch that was just too fast and no time to do anything other than eat. I went to work having virtually nothing to do because I already prepared for today's work and most of next week. I can't do anything because unfortunately I just don't know what to do and I feel that I am just in the way.

Work was painless.
4 classes:
TD3 Saturday class was good.
The others weren't. TC1: Mr. J class scares them, or they had a test. TC2: Chatterbox and play. TD2: Test and lack of interest.



Maybe its something I am missing or something that I did but I just feel like I am missing something. I work up with the best intentions and thought that Work should be a good day. Its quick, Its with my Darling, and There is nice weather.
I am walking downtown or Waegook which ever place I make it to. Time to jet for the time being. Back later

Out of Sync

Things are always heating up and Life is always interesting you never know whats around the corner. I woke up with high spirits today...Its Friday and in my experience Fridays are always a day to celebrate even if you do work on the next day.

I had my usual morning specialty. I went to breakfast at the Macdonalds. I relaxed and rested in my house. I did laundry and I dressed up extra nice.

I went to the Library where our study session was good. We made sentences and played word games I wish I could be more help.

Work: I went into a depressive funk because of the Truth that really hurts sometimes. I shouldn't be so sensitive but if its one thing that I do think about that would be Reality and the seriousness nature that I go about my work/life with.

I take everything seriously. I don't want to waste time in idleness not caring about whats going on around or about me. Today I was upset from totally within my own feelings. It had nothing to do with anyone and everything that happened or didn't happen. I think its just part of the Life Abroad Experience.


i had 6 classes of disrespect. If I tried to keep track of all the flamboyant disrespect it would wear me out.


I talked to Mr. Jeong. He was a benefit today a rarity in disguise. I miss the carefree morning where it was just nice to relax. Try harder I guess.


After work I went to dinner with Christina. We had some pig meat and stew mix it was good. This was the place I went for my birthday. I need to take more pictures.

My darling pushes all the right buttons and I feel better already.

Genealogical Timetable

According to my count this is the 200th story that I have written.


Nowadays I feel a little scared at what I am becoming. I am starting some personal recordings which aren't anything special. The quality is tacky and at this moment I don't have the ability to ever become a director but its nice to have clips of my experience.
My experience... Its more than this though this is my life.


I have a nonchalant attitude about my Teaching and at the same time half way in between caring and not caring anymore. I will elaborate more later.

Sometimes I feel like I have squandered my time in Korea not taking full advantage of the opportunities that I have. Maybe there is something I overlooked.

I originally wanted a lot of personal time just to myself. I thought coming to Korea would allow me some time to Rejuvenate myself and just take some time to study WHO I am. It may seem funny but I like to looks at Symbol. I think Studying symbols is a good field of study for me sometimes. I am wearing Coats and shirts from Who a u? Who am I mori gesso.

On a more positive side of things. I am really liking Christina's Owl Project. I like family trees and I really like watching things grow. I think that Today's addition to the Box was an actual Owl family Mother Father and two babies.




Work today was Cake so to speak.
There are many wishes that I have. #1. I wish that Christina didn't feel bad about her English all the time. I have never felt that there was a problem with her English. #2. I wish I knew more Korean. #3. Even though this is just my Experience or personal travel "home away from home" I talked to Vicki today about going anywhere in the World.

I love Genealogical Studies so much because its related to culture and human studies. Things that interest me is the Human Genome Project and also just mapping out how things came to be. Languages spread from certain points etc. Korean is isolated to just Korea but even though this is the case I fancy that its possible to live anywhere in the world. My Darling has the gift embezzled inside of her and where ever I go in the World having her by my side is essential.

This Korean experience has been Topsy Turvy and so is this game of Life. I have always been thinking of the Future more and more whether this is the right thing to do or not. I do this because my time in Korea is limited and I have to be ready for something else. I also think more because Life is limited time to make a difference and even though no one in Korea that knows me would think that this is the case~ there is seriously a lot of things that I would like to do and also try to influence more and more. I will find a way I am certain about that. How and When are the bigger questions. This blog may just be a bunch of pish poshed thought pasted together but I hope its more than that.
I write from the heart.

Todays Classes
All 3 of them:
MB3: I dealt with the Untagee matter. I think he maybe better. He finished a lot of my homework and maybe he will be better in class. I will deal with that in May. He has been the source of a headache though and he needs to be dealt with by higher authority. I think I just need to make my complaining rights heard.

TC1: My best class. They are fun and interesting. They do cause problems but its OK because they at least try.
Mr. Jeong peeked into my class and it scared me. I sweated, turned red, my heart rate accelerated and I was shaking. This is problem. I wasn't doing anything bad but I still feel irritated.

Td1: Boring but getting through it April will be a real Test. May will be easier.


The question lingering on the back of my mind is should I stay or Should I go in June? I am not entirely sure but whatever maybe the case I hope that it will work out in a very positive way.

*If this place was hell and I am not saying it is, I am comforted that I have the best that Gumi has. I am just hoping for better things to come and always permanently wanting to stay in the company that I have for I feel that I couldn't be in better company.

Today we went to the library and later had a huge feast of Galbi at 11:45.

There is a lot more to say but I will save it for another post as I want to continue working on my other projects.

Learning to Fly by the Seat of my pants

This is a long arduous process that will require much more time than the time that I have undergone so far in Korea. What do I mean by this? Teaching is an art and its something I don't have. I have realized that this has been the case for a long time and unfortunately it makes me sad to think about my teaching each time I Get Ready to go to the class.

First off, my opinion is that I am meant for a real school were the kids are there because they truly want to learn. I wish my Agency had listened to my demands. No kids younger than 12 preferably adults and public school would be better. I got hosed and chipped big time I feel.
Comments that I heard or saw today but are definitely not limited to this are as follows:
1. I hate English. 2. Sukjae OpSiOh No Homework (they don't speak english to me at all unless they have to) 3. Kids who just sit there with no supplies like a pen or pencil or no workbook because their parents are so hasty when it comes to enrolling them here that they are overlooked when it comes to proper supplies. They refuse to ask hey chingu yompay juseyo Hey friend pencil please. Why they dont speak is below me but its OTL frusterating to watch.


Anyways it being Wednesday meant another 6 back to back. I am just happy when it was over.

Before work I was fretting about things and ended up having a headache which was all for not. Thank God. I shouldn't worry about things so much. I think it comes with the territory of living abroad and personally in constant state of What's next?

I Had a good lunch with Christina and we also enjoyed break time. It was nice to study a little bit and just relax. After work I also was more relaxed. I can't wait until tomorrow.




Teaching as an Art which is something I don't have here. I have 45 minutes and I wish I had less most of the time. I take Attendance even though its meaningless. The kids don't say hi or hello or here they just sit there. I read Vocabulary as fast as I can because our boss has instilled fear in me that Dong il E gee is the most important thing .... Read Vocabulary please. its important but the kids reaction is haphazard at best.

I don't have any tools or trades of the game unless its to simply survive. I dont care anymore though its just meatball teaching to me.


I do care about a few things though. 1. It will help boost my Teaching Career which I hope to launch when I get back home.

I also care how it effects Christina, Vicki and Myself. Everyday is the same when it comes to teaching. When my boss yells at me I am surprised because I have been used to doing things wrong for months on end. I don't like to see Work related issues and problems drag us down.

When it comes to the kids I have drawn a line. If they treat me poorly I dont want to help them or play with them. I wouldn't expect American kids to disrespect me get away with it (as in no going to Dr. D the principle) and then want me to be nice to them. The best thing to do is forget about them as fast as possible because they are just a bother. Kids come and go like day and night here anyways. I have seen way to many kids leave this School. The number since I have been here has been around 70 I think.

Good Riddance~ less telephone teaching, less disrespect, less report cards and Why? All because their parents overloaded them with schools and figured English isn't that Important.

Today Christina waved a Canadian Flag. There is so much hate for American worldwide that many Americans have been putting Canadian Flags on their travel suitcases. I wonder if this would make any differences for me?

By the standards of my teaching I will continue to struggle for a long time with Teaching. Its an uphill battle each day. And then there will be tomorrow... A Sunrise full of Hope I can only presume

Talk soon Take Care.

Hugs all around

More Post Work soon to follow...

Busy Busy Busy Everyday Am I busy Sunday... Yes but I can't wait^^
haha

Personal Talks

Stories from Korea. Well I am thinking about expanding my Reporting by incorporating some home-made videos. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner but its a good way to put some personal observations down maybe daily.

Morning~Its a Tuesday I was really excited for an easy day of work. I cleaned up went to a few grocery stores. I wanted to make lunch really special. I cooked rice for what later was Bibimbab and tried to get things that would go well with it. As always I want a perfect meal and a wonderful morning. I learned today that I think too much especially because it gives me a headache later.

Lunch was delicious though. Vicki came over too and unfortunately my headache prevented me from being "normal" and talkative. As a result I had bad thoughts all day and really just can't wait until tomorrow even though there is 6 classes.


Dinner was easy. I cooked curry and it was ok. I can't wait to rebound tomorrow. I need to curb my brain at times.

So now I am going to focus on figuring out better things that my follies I allow myself to be caught up into. It really wasn't that big of a deal anyways.


Today Mr. Jeong talked to me about Classes. All he said was that I shouldn't punish for just kid notes. He also said that I should teach nicer apparently I am too mean I don't know how or why but I guess that's the case. Classes were good today. I will have to wait until next week to figure out what I want to do with my classes.

I think Work has a chance at getting better. I can work harder if need be. Work doesn't concern me though I have figured out how to make it pass quickly and get what done what my boss wants its just other things that everyone already seems to know what makes me think.

I will try to add Video footage later this doesn't work again and again grrrr....

Glamarous Outing

Over here in Korea the weather is sunny! Back home I hear its cold. Knowing how the weather severely affects my moods I am glad I am over here^^ It could be cold though for all I care because for the most part I feel all warm inside.


Today I had a mild panic attack. I have these from time to time. I didn't even want to look at the kids because they ruin me in class and when I don't have to be in the class I want my time. So I spent 20 minutes worrying about the inadequacies in the classroom

Today was the perfect time for an Outing and an escape into the park. Sitting in the Pavilion sharing a Lunchbox with Christina was the nicest spring day yet. Inside my darling's lunchbox was delicious bounty that left me wanting more. Just like the day is long so could I eat her food. She is Top chef in my books.

Our dream of opening up Kim's Restaurant is ideal^^

After Lunches Desert pictured here...


I spent the morning taking care of odds and ends. I sent some money home. I want to make my bank account grow abroad so by the time I get home I can find the perfect place for Kim's.

Lunch was so perfect. It was my first picnic in Korea and I can't wait until the next one. I need to make some food^^I can be a good cook. I would be server and secondary chef in our Kim's Restaurant. I am still working on my cooking.




***My Eyes are Twinkling***



AS far as a Monday goes... work was nearly flawless and perfect. Mr. Jeong was gone
which meant that I didnt care what happened in class.



Let's give a run down on the class. Oh wait lets not. I am sick of bad things. One word should summarize: Disrespect







Total disregard and flamboyantly disrespectful in MB3. I am not sure what to do. I want a rest from Mr. Jeong so I will ignore for as long as possible. Probably tomorrow..not good.

i think I am making enemies because I am punishing a lot more nowadays and the kids keep coming back for another round. They won't learn to change so more punishment. I will be more creative soon.
My last class I think I will make Mr. Jeong come to them because I am tired of their disregard for me. They are the oldest group of kids on MWF so they understand English Anger it annoys me.

Thoughts of my Darling and a brighter future pass my day quickly. Everything I say, do or write is only to push for a better tomorrow.

Its time to buckle down and snap to reality and push myself even more. I have reached my breaking point almost though with the kids. I have caught myself a few times just inches away from snapping. I can't wait until next week. Monthly test week.


With Nothing but the best in mind your everlasting Sa rang hae is happy just knowing that the sun will shine tomorrow and that he has all the riches in Gumi and is content.

KOREA AT A GLANCE---A PERSONA OF SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

KOREA AT A GLANCE
BY Nick Palmer
Article 1
This is the start of my Magazine entry blogs. I would like to add a different perspective to my experience. Please keep in mind that these are my personal opinions mostly based on my experience, observations and possibly lack of total understanding. In no way am I meaning this to be taken the wrong way.
I want to try a new approach in my writing. I write a story to give detail about my day to day life but I also want to start a Cultural Section. The events and happenings in Korea that have left a mark on me that explain what the Culture is. This piece will center around the Work Atmosphere and the Business aspect of Korean culture and its impacts/implications on the social stratification of Korean Society.

INTRODUCTION

I have been in Korea for 10 months now. I have worked day in and day out at my Academy. Its been basically doing sloppy teaching and slapstick 45 minutes sessions. I am not really sure if what I do you could consider true Education. I am working in a business driven society. It makes me stomach crawl at times. Many days there is more emphasis placed on representation and image rather than the quality of my "lecture" and also my overall flow as a teacher. As a teacher I often feel like just a body in a classroom set up there like an android on a pedestal for display. I am the Waegook English counterpart in order to lure business. The slogan is simple: "I have a Fluent English teacher: your kids will learn from him" In my next issue I will discuss Classroom Fundamentals Do's and the Dont's as well as the ideas being carried out. I have come to School 6 days a week without raising a stir. While it has become ridiculous with how much the school is open it has just become part of subroutine and there is nothing to do about it. Academy competition is fierce and just like the mentality of Korean people to become your work is needed if you are to be successful in Korea. Exploring Business and human ethics in the minds of Koreans part 1.

this idea stems from how people dress. All Korean people look like they are ready to go to Sunday Church. This is also a different category for later discussion but the truth is, is that when you go to Kimbob for lunch or a casual stroll to Macdonald's you don't need to wear your overcoat and tuxedo or anything other than casual comfortable clothes. Who are you trying to impress?
I do know that if you don't make an effort to look nice and keep a good image you will be left behind in what unfortunately is truly a competitive society. It is only in this manner that I do understand the dress code and habits of the Korean working mind.
When it comes to work people must work hard or succumb to the lower drudges of society work. That would include carrying a cart picking up cardboard and other recyclable goods. In my opinion, the People who have money and therefore power tend to abuse it. Maybe its their way of staving off the competition and therefore controlling the environment which surrounds the workplace but I think that people who have the higher positions could definitely make better use of their position instead of lording it above everyone else and making people like me feel smaller for not having as much and making me never feel truly satisfied or have self worth because there supposedly is something else that I could have done.If you take my boss for example, he seems to thrive off of hurting others. If something doesn't go his way he doesn't like to compromise. His business assets are more important than his employers. HE doesn't appreciate long work hours and doing extra work but seems to rather expect it. Lavish demands come with the territory of leadership and management but there is definite overkill. I don't respect him simply because he doesn't appreciate what is being done for him. There is no point in trying to change this either simply because in the mind of the Korean Director Time is money and Quantity is the way to achieve it and the solution I am sure is to penny pinch whenever possible even if it causes problems for the consumers. One man's folly is another one's prize.

Me, Christina, Vicki and the teachers before are just mechanisms to get his work done. If it was simply to rack in the money and make sure his business was booming I wouldn't care but he tries to blame our teaching when business is bad. Its pathetic.

Being a Hawgwan Director is like being a Corporate Giant. The purpose of Corporates and Academy Directors are the same: Buyout the Competition and minimize the costs/pay needed to run the School. Its all a shabby outfit.


Koreans have a shroud of self righteousness above them. If I am wearing a Suit and a Tie I must be immediately better than anyone else. The gap between Rich and Poor is unnerving. People who have so much money get richer while the poor get poorer.

Each Morning I see the "important businessmen clad up in their 500 dollar suit and their all important business clients/brief cases etc. enter the bank, walk the streets on their way to some job or meeting. They drink their Dixie cups thinking they are so great because they have so much money. They don't notice the Agassi (old women) bent over like the hunchback of Notre Dame who is at least in her 70's collecting cardboard, trash, or other trinkets that she comes across all for piddles.



This is the same all over the world. I am not writing any tell tale heart story here. It pains me though that there is such a huge gap. Its also painful to see people fall in the trap of being used. My boss gets all umbered up because his Academy isn't doing as well as he would like.

This self righteousness is manifolded from an early age. Its also ingrained in everyone's head that Time is Money and Time is not to waste. Take some time to stop and smell the roses doesn't really exist in Korea.

Classes: The kids are in such a hell bent rush to get into the classroom and out of it as soon as their class is over that they disregard me during the official class time. My boss who I believe just wants the money the kids presence endows him yells at me for stopping early because I am OTL with it and have had enough. The quicker the kids leave the better for me. It means less stress induced on me. There is a shift in the attitude or feelings when the kids from the MB classes leave and the arrival of the MCs come same with the MDs.

I write this jumbled report hoping to just create conversation and also for potential ideas later on. Its my hope to continue developing a more sound idea of what truly is Korea. My Exploration of Korea is a fun adventure and something I definitely enjoy spending my time doing. My best hobby is writing and in my spare time I want to continue my mini-reports of Korea in hopes of finding a way to fit in and make a positive influence in Korea

Joined at the Hip

**Getting away from the Gumi commune is one of the best things that can happen to a Gumianian. It doesn't happen very often but when it does its truly wonderful and leaves a lasting impression on me.

Daegu! The place where anything seems possible. I have never had a bad experience in Daegu and I really wish Gumi could have the same feeling. Maybe its just because your home JIB always is familiar and every once and awhile you need to get out to breathe but even so I still think that Gumi lacks the spunk of Daegu.


Daegu was wonderful to me once again. I literally think that I am joined at the Hip with Christina wherever we go together we stand. We have the same mindset and sharing deep issues and talking about day to day occurrences makes everything that We are going through here in Korea all the worth it to me.

I am happy that We can see Korean Culture and American Culture for what they really are. I love seeing the world through her eyes.



The world I have here in Korea is wonderful because we can do and share everything together and I hope that it will always be like this!

So we went to Little Italy. We had some Spaghetti and drank some Orange Juice and later coffee. Little Italy. Even though there were no Italians present it still felt like stepping into a different culture. While Italy is a little too far south from the motherland England and even further from the my Viking blood Norway, Italy is still a place I want to go see someday.
Interested? -_-? ok i see.




We went to the Stationary Store and bought some supplies. I think Korea has a lot of good writing selections. They have some nice notebooks, and writing paper. I need to write more these days I think. I am still trying to find an idea for National Geographic magazine.


Home back in Gumi. I allowed myself to feel down. I regret doing this so much because I know it doesn't change the thing or situation to think about it. But with everything going on at Work, Home etc. I feel bad seeing things come to an end. Its no one's fault but mine. I am just a little lost and confused sometimes. I take my Babe's words to heart and I agree with everything she has said. There are times that I don't always like what we end up doing or how the day goes but I have never disagreed with her. We are of the same mindset and lifestyle. I know that I have something really special with her.



Here is a photo of Our Hands Can you guess which one is mine? I know its hard to tell...