Circus Parade

I felt a little down today. I had a great morning with Christina at the Library I do enjoy going there because I want to help her study and do whatever I can in order to make it happen. It means so much to me.

Work was a different story. After having some nice noodles with Christina for lunch it was all business as usual. I even dressed up for the occasion wearing a tie that cost me equivalent to 15 dollars or less. Its a really nice shirt but I think I am impersonating someone.

Today I am frustrated and so I will vent here. I don't know if writing helps but I do it solely for the purpose that the people I love the most can better understand me. I have always wanted to take advantage of everything there is to do and know about living in Korea. I have felt like I am living my own personal bubble because Yale Academy has isolated me from experiencing true Korea.

I am worried that I will never be able to do the same great things that we did like on May12th and I am scared to think about later. I love Korea a lot I like the food I like the determination people have and how nice people are. There are many wonderful things about Korea but unfortunately Yale isn't one of them.


I don't care what other teachers have experienced at Hawgwans but mine has been strange. I have a system that is sketchy. The copy machine is faulty, the markers I use for class don't work worth beans, the secretary is in charge of the money system, administering new kids and reporting to Mr. Jeong about all the changes which she neglects. She doesn't speak any English nor make any attempt to interact with me. The kids are awful to me nowadays. I am talked at completely in Korean and I therefore can't teach at all. Lately, I feel like I am going back in time like when I first got here and how everything seemed so nice. The smells were good, the kids were problems but it was just part of my breaking in experience. I thought things would change within a few weeks.


I am scared because I want Korea to like me so much I didn't do anything bad to anyone and I have no ill feelings about anyone truly I just want to do my part to make this world better. I don't think like an American and sometimes I wish I could take away my characteristics that make me stick out here because I am not wanting to be known as that.

And so the Clowning around will continue I will just have to juggle things a little more and think more carefully I am missing something.

Todays classes no one talked to me in English and the kids made a mockery of me like they do everyday or they just sat there and didn't say a word. I will go to work tomorrow and get 6 classes of abuse and if I dare complain my boss will just make me feel worthless. I still believe in Miracles though ~~~~