Living Dreams

Its the goal of a write to write things as they see it. To tell the story as if they were there in person able to tell you this. Whether its serious, funny, honest or just a fact this comes from the heart. Its my last Thursday this is becoming more and more not how I planned but then again that's life.

From the beginning I had my Ma2 class which I teach once a week and thus far still haven't connected to the kids and don't intend to. They aren't bad students but I am tired of ABC teaching. I have had a problem doing ABC and then doing T-O-E-F-L lessons its just not a conducive situation to me.


I actually cared when I taught my last classes and felt bad for not telling them I am leaving. It will be a shocker for sure and I regret not telling Rick or Hyena. Those two I have taught the longest I think.


I am leaving and I don't want that to show that I am giving up. I feel there is a better situation out there for me, Christina and Vicki too. My leaving has nothing to do with the dumb kids---I say that because today I found out that some students expressed a regret for treating me poorly. Its horrible. Most of the kids didn't even care I was leaving but rather who would teach them. I feel bad to say this but I think just like when Pearl left none of the kids cared at all. The kids are here only because their parents and if they leave they wouldn't say goodbye. I don't want the kids to be a reason for anything. This job hasn't been good to me and I don't want anyone to be here.

I taught Rose my TD1 star (ex-star) nowadays I am tired of her. I used to be tired of Hwajin, the ex-Td2 student who doesn't even come anymore. Rose is that new girl. She is a class of one and a complete waste of space. I talked to her and asked her questions about everything and felt worthless doing it. She is a girl who can't think a single thought on her own. I tell her stories to try to motivate her but there isn't motivating a girl who works like clockwork.

I was told today by my best student it will pain me to have you on a plane. I was touched and felt saddened because its already going to be hard. I am leaving I can't imagine.


This is my final week in Korea. I am scared, sad, and wish I had a clear answer. My answer is vested into Christina. I would probably kill someone if she wanted that's how much I love her. Not only is she my best friend, girlfriend and future wife but she is the person I want to walk through the world with. I miss my family my friends but I can endure being without them. I want to push myself harder I want things to happen and do the unthinkable. I wish I knew more to do cause I don't know.


It was the last teachers meeting and this is killing me to write this as I speak I can't imagine not working with Vicki and Christina now. They wash my cup for me they take care of me they help me out so much and they don't care about anything when it comes to me. They will share all with me.

We have a diseased secretary a weird boss and a system that doesnt do anyone favors Life back home will not be perfect---I won't make as much money, I wont have a good job but I think it will be better than the job. There is nothing about this job I like to put it bluntly.


People said I was a fool for staying longer, people think I am foolish for believing in what I do. I feel ripped apart and stand alone because all I care about is making the impossible POSSIBLE.

I will go home and I will work harder than now. I will build a future worthy of everything and pray beyond prayer that come Christmas time I can unwrap my greatest present.


WE can do this


more notes about today
I am virtually done cleaning my house and my office space. I have some shopping I would like to do and some last minute packing but everything is done. Tiny little boxes makes me think of setting up a perfect future. I want a house with a bedroom and a closet for 2 people I want this so much and I just want to make things work out. I will do anything ANYTHING.

Saying Goodbye to Vicki was hard. I hope that she and Christina can make things together. I will come back asap. I know it.


Don't cry anymore I will not do this.