Forget-me not Fighting Finish

Today was the last day of work. I got a book from a student and a few notes. I wish I had been able to keep my going away more secretive. I have mixed feelings now. My job is terminated and I will be going home soon.

I had to fight so much in the classroom, I overcame Mr. Jeongs scrutiny and character flaws. I had to deal with faulty irrational, and misguided students. Students who to this day still don't know the meaning of RESPECT and how to behave properly. I had to forget about all of this and just focus on me and how to be a better teacher. I wonder why students or people always wait until the last minute to say their feelings.


I got a note from Amy a girl who I always thought was dumber than most kids in her age group but she liked my class and she said she'd miss me. I thought now I am too hard on her. I cared to much. I showed my temper to students a lot. It rankles me that I had to face blatant disrespect and also unknown encounters.


My Korean Experience opened up my eyes from a young inexperienced boy to a traveled man. I still lack a lot of experience but my determination and work ethic improved. I would like to think so.


Back to the central question... Why do people always wait until its too late. Its best to express your feelings now and not hold back. Here are some of mine. I want to leave this place to go to a better place. I will go home to try to get a career underway. I want more money and a stable income for my future but my future is devoted under True Love. I don't want anything to stand in the way of that.


As far as my experience here is concerned Working at Yale was mostly unpleasant. I had to many students leave without saying goodbye latest one probably being Jerry. I had too many students just treat me with so much distaste that it hurt me. If you must know the truth I don't know what to think.


I got 4 letters: Amy and Jessica Tc2 students, Ciarra Tc1 who I will remember always. I wish she would have talked to me more. and Ann---my fighting student who is smart but reserved.

Solitude has been my life here. I have lived alone, worked alone, and now face an unknown future alone. While I am determined I still don't know. I have lived alone for to long I don't know what its like to be back among people and I am afraid to find out. I care so much because I have many wonderful things here right now at this moment and my decisions are bound to have ill effects.


I sit in my room now and think of how to make the future and the world a better place. I think I made the best of my time here and now its sadly time to say goodbye. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I am going home in hopes of establishing a lucrative study and work plan and build on a dynamic future that will take me to Korea, America or anywhere but whatever it may be it will be to my Womans heart.


So today I had a quick day at work. I didn't cry. I felt bad leaving some kids but I made it through the day without crying. I don't want to remember much of the Academy.

I will remember Vicki and Christina and how we had our system. I wish that they didn't worry so much about work things. Miss Jeong is always going to be stupid and weird, Mr. Jeong is just going to be driven for money regardless of the cost or activity, and the kids are going to be "mis-guided" country cow minded students. There are a few who stand out and I should say that in most respects the students are actually brighter than I made them out to be but I will not forgive or forget the idiocy of students like Alexa, Diane, and many more uncountable figures.


I won't get into it right now. I am sadly done. I will go home to an unknown future and a place where I am scared to be. I think I will return to my solitude as Ann told me in her note simply because I can't bear the shame and fear I have for living back home.
.

Its my Quest and hope to make everything better but I am worried now that I can't


I told many students today to do what you love. Life life to its fullest and honestly don't let anything or anyone hold back your dreams. All good things are worth fighting for and all good things aren't going to hold you back but hold you up. I have found my pedestal and it burns me that I am going away for a short time.

I write this holding out a prayer for hope. Its all we got and we can do it. We can't live our life with regret and furrowing over the unknown we can do what we want and we can do it now. Seize the Day and please Don't Worry for I think and therefore know that it will be ok.