The Festering Cacophony

March is here and unfortunately its showing its ugly self. Monday Wednesday and Friday are going to be hard days. I haven't felt like I have been teaching at all this week but rather just riding out the schedule change. I am a showcase on display with no true way to teach my abilities. None of the kids like it.

MY classes are in decline. I am losing kids faster than the sun rises and they dont even bother to tell me. I am now stuck with mostly girls of whom I dont really care for. I like the younger class now. They are learning the ABCs its not as stressful and I think I can manage the morning period better.

Today I had 6 classes as did Christina. WE had the same break but unfotunately she had a headache and I was feeling bad due to the situation looming before us.

I came to some harsh realizations today...

I can't fix the problems of this place. Our boss is driven only for $$$ I hate this symbol so much. It has destroyed the human will and spirit. To have no money you are free but you can't do anything you are restricted so everyone follows the almighty dollar. I didnt come to Korea because I would make so much money~ I came because I wanted to free my mind.

My boss doesnt care or give one iota about the education the children receive but rather how many kids he can cram into the school room.
I have known this for monts because when it comes to kids not having textbooks he uses scrap paper to get by. The kids have poor quality materials and this is because they either come late in the month or they are too lazy to buy the school supplies. I care a lot about the quality of my work that I give to the kids and therefore want to have a nice textbook to give them but its hard to watch the kids totally dismantle my work. I made questions to hard or too easy and they dont even try to answer. Sometimes I doubt my ability to stay here for 12 months.

Christina and I are in need of change. There are problems here that need to be addressed. Christina and I have proven that we are the best assets at Yale but our boss doesnt appreciate enough.

Our boss told us we need to praise the kids because they are unmotivated. I said hi, how are you with nothing but care in my way and E-Tae just looked at me and said What? And not what like I dont understand but What as in Why?


Class Report
MB1: Quick and Easy Rick is back. New student again. I have only taught the class twice and now new student.
MB2: Definitely one of the worst classes. They literally look brain dead. I feel bad because I wanted to get Frank and Jones(E-taes) motivated but they are not succeeding. I want to have some kids move up because its a problem

MC1: I finished the textbook as best as I could before I begin a new one. Its crap. The kids dont have the material its a waiting game.

MC2: Same thing. I actually did teach a lesson in their new book.
MD1: NO ANGEL, Kerri was sick and Sungmin is doing his old tricks. I hope he leaves again.
MD2: My last class angered me. They ruined my handout and they flat out didnt care about the class.

I have given up. I dont like the endless banterring in Korean. I dont like punishing and thinking its going to make the situation better. I am thinking I should move to cruel and unusual punishment.

Chris U Ta Ge: Head butts me. He is a loner. No kids like him. His brother fights with him. There is nothing ever done. I leave notes but they aren't working.
My boss yelled at me for leaving class today yet he had to leave his class to say this to me. He is the director so I guess his rules dont apply to him.

*If I found a new job tomorrow I would quit. I dont want to quit because I want to believe that there is a way to make it better but I am beginging to doubt it. I am saddened that my boss is treating Christina bad as well. She works so hard and she always has. I never have heard her not care but our boss is starting to turn her feeling. MR. Jeong is a selfish stupid man I have come to that conclusion.

He is nice to me when he wants something or when he doesnt care but when it comes to running his academy he is careless and dumb. The kids dont like him. His policies/law dont work and he is just for show.

I am the only foreigner here at this academy. I am the only one who works Saturdays in Gumi and its just a way to insure customers. My personal dream is to find a great job, take Christina with me and watch his Academy crash like the bonds he invests in so much. This man needs a dose or reality.

I felt like crying so much today after classes because it is hopeless. I dont think my friends or family can understand the life I am living. I walk into Yale and I think how nice. Its a business and its clean and looks very professional but then I see the mold behind the mask and the Cacophony that follows me around like a posion slowly eroding the tissue in my skin.

I am Teaching to the wind as my words fall on deaf ears. I have an iron fist that is ruling irrationally and behind this there is only darkness.

Tomorrow I will go to work and forget the whole thing since I only teach 2-4 classes tomorrow. My boss is losing bigtime and he doesnt know how bad yet.

God I hope for a Miracle