Crestfallen

Here I am on my one and only day off. I am not sure what to feel or do right now. I am still a little stuffed up and tired even though I haven't really done anything today.

The weather is cloudy/gray and perhaps this is the worst indication but people with Norwegian ancestry tend to suffer from depression especially with this type of weather. Personally, I don't know whats wrong with me but I am not really feeling good about much these days.

I am crashing ever so painfully slow. I came to Korea with promise and hope to become a teacher, learn about myself, Asia, Korea and find the answers to what I was looking for. Instead I have just created confusion, more questions and ended/ruined things that I had before. I have alienated many friends with my new lifestyle~ I have made my best friend completely disregard me for reasons I am not entirely sure. I can't understand Korean Culture no matter how hard I try.


I don't know what I am doing wrong but whatever it is I wish I could figure it out. I am slowly disintegrating into despair and wish I could find an answer.

I am willing to do whatever I can do just to make anything work but I am not sure I have the ability anymore.