Regretable happenings

Today I felt slightly rejuvenated by the fact that I had a weekend. I woke up early ready to embrace the business of the day. I have many things I should do or need to do but I was on a mission today to finishing as much as possible.

My life is cut into 2 segments. My personal life and my business Work life. I was headed out the door by 9:30 today to take care of some business downtown. I sent some money home. I am happy to know that I am saving a lot of money and feel like I am still spending too much here. I talked to my brother and had some coffee at a Coffee shop. I also managed to get in some time to shop a little. My new philosophy is to soak up every available thing here in Korea before its time for me to move on.

I went by the method of Bus ~ it saves so much more money and its a good investment. I think I should buy a bus ticket holder. I know this is not the appropriate English name but you get my drift. Like I said I am seriously looking for ways to adjust/change the situations I encounter.


At home I went to the Post Office to mail a slitany of postcards. I will send out some more next week. I want to start writing more. I am going to write emails/stories/cards as often as I can. Its important to me to becoming a good writer. I got back from my jaunt/run from the Post Office at 12:20 just in time to go with Christina to Kim bob. I haven't been there in 2 months. Its right across the street 1 minute away.

WorkTime?!?
I recieved a rude awakening when I got to the office. I put in a lot of time on Saturday to fill out lesson plans and make my work week less hectic. Unfortunately, I missed a critical folder that my boss had. He unfortunately makes me feel very angry because in my opinion he misjudges my position. Truthfully, I am trying to put together a lot for him and do the best I can. I am trying to make some good projects, and at the same time deal with problems the same way he does. Write as my dad would say a "poison pen" letter. I used to write mom these all the time because of our childish arguments I had when I was a kid. I told my boss the problems with the kids and I left it on his lesson plan sheet so hopefully he can deal with it. I am running around trying to put out fires before they get out of control. I take it one month at a time and I think I may start a monthly review section to this blog. At the end of the month I will write a summary of my experience.

February the month of ....
whatever...

I lost my motivation today and this is the first thing I did that's regretable. The second was just how upset I felt. I accidently ripped the sheet and I dont yell but I talk in a raspy voice and my heart is going 365 mph (miles per hour) My head was throbbing it felt like my veins were molten lava and I was going to squirt blood out of my skull. I honestly couldnt breathe properly and felt like crying. It reminded me of E-tae's feelings last week. I regret this because I dont like making Christina worry/bothered. Its not good to lose control. Ironically I have still left it inside where I hope it doesnt show its true ugly head and run a muck of things. I dont want to be angry. My boss just has a way of making me feel like Shit. Christina made me feel better. She is sick right now. I think we both have been too busy lately and could use a rest. I hope that after this week things can look better in March.

Classes were so so today~
I somehow found some strength to teach effectively or at least adequately.
MB3: there wasn't anything special. We reviewed and finished right on time
MB1: The kids were more subdued then usual. I was fine with them today.
MC1: Refused to say a single word to me. I felt awful they are usually funny and talkative but they didnt say anything to me at all. Not hi or nothing. I couldnt change them.
MC2: My best class. We were able to joke a little and talk. They were still too quiet but at least they weren't loud. Angel is a fun girl to have in class. I hope she doesnt drop. The good ones always drop though
MD2: 4 kids. Fun time practice and review chapter.
MD3: Finish a little early I will have plenty of time on Wednesday for new lesson

After work: I had to ask Miss Jeong for my change back. I paid her 10,000 won and she owd me 1,200. Unfortunately she was careless with the money and lost it. I dont understand her organizational skills. When people pay their bills usually you get your change back on time. I waited for her the entire day and had to ask her. She is a weird woman. I avoid her simply because I dont like misunderstandings and since after 8 months I hear from Christina everything Miss Jeong wants to tell me. Its not that hard. It's like she doesnt trust me or want to even try to understand me.
She walked into the Teaching office saw that I was the only one and left. She had some Korean snack to give to Christina I felt shocked because she didnt offer me any and she also looked at me with oops, its just Nick and made her way out the door. Thanks for making me feel good. I have been here for a long time. I dont know how many times I have given her snacks that I buy. I did try but its easier to ignore and not care.

I dont know where I went wrong.

Maybe I am thinking too much but I am just trying to look at the wonderful things in my life and build on that.

After 8 months I do know what I want here in Korea and also in life in general. My problem is just as Peter, Sam and Steve would say I overthink. Its been 9 months since I last saw them I can't believe.

SO Now I will outline some of my goals for this week.
I truly do want to be an effective teacher. My job is a challenge at times but I believe I can overcome these problems and find a viable solution. I would like to say I usually dont feel bad about the problems of work. I still have yet to find a proper balance.

I told Christina you have to love what you do. I am a Teacher I am happy to have this job as a Teacher, I just wish there were more ways I could be a better teacher. When I have a bad day it feels like everything is going to stop. When I have a good day and I can walk away from the job I feel ok.

tomorrow is Tuesday~ and all I know is that I want to have a successful day. I want to have fun with the kids and do as much work as possible. There is always something that could be done but I am not sure all the time. I look for a good hope...