Self Righteousness

Yesterday I got an ass chewing that left quite an impression I now have about my boss. Let me first start out by saying that there is separation between work and personal life. I dont even know if I should post this pending on the thoughts that some people may have who read this. I have no bad feelings or resentment towards anyone when it comes to after work. However, the problems at work are inadvertently being carried over to my personal life.

I am having a lot of difficulties it would appear. On the surface I am calm, composed and strong but the obstacle I am confronted with are posing some horrible dilemmas. I think my cheekbones have sunk in and my face is gaunt with big bags of blue strapped under my eyes. Truthfully, I havent felt rested in awhile and its starting to wear on me.


I am not a quitter and I refuse to complain. Jin in korean means honest.

here are a few related notes:
In my TC1 class I am teaching a chapter called "Say it with Flowers" Flowers have special meanings and apparently Orange means Beautiful and Pure so I told my class that they may give me some orange flowers "jung ja kan" or "Jin" they all think I am full of beans or silly. I can't believe how much slang I am starting to recall.

In another class I am teaching "THE GREAT PRETENDER" about Catch me if You Can and I jokingly told the class I am kind of like the great pretender. I am pretending or masquarading as a teacher. Unfortunately, in the eyes of my boss that may not be far from reality.

The truth is, is that I show up from 1 until 8:30 and I can't stay longer because I usually am stressed because of the kids. I contribute this too many factors, 1). my teaching skill 2). Being an American and not understanding as much Korean as I would like and finally 3). Academy errors

I know I need to improve my teaching but it isnt because of lack of effort or laziness. I am the reason why so many kids left the academy.


Sometimes I wonder why my boss still has me around because I have caused many mistakes.

There is another side to this though and that's the fact that my boss doesnt completely understand my position and he isn't willing to change.

I hate saying these things but I believe that if I dont find a way to make things right I will be leaving sooner than I expected.

I would like to go back to school.
I want to also travel to Europe and maybe find a new teaching system. I think I could do better at a different place.

Here is more irony ... I refuse to complain and I accept the errors in my ways. In doing so I have become more passive and accepting. I am choosing to pick my battles carefully and bide my time.
I have come to the conclusion that this experience is nothing but a stepping stone to bigger and better things and I am hoping that things can iron themselves out or more simply get better. I will make it happen and in the end I am going to have everything that's good from my Life in Korea.

Mori Kara?

Today, I tried new culture experience. I got a haircut. I dont know why I got one but I did. Actually I truly know the true reason but it doesnt need to be said.

I got my haircut with a Razor. She shampooed it and waxed it. It was 8 dollars. I was surprised. Its actually not that bad of a haircut

That's it.

Its the end of anther weekend and time for bed. I have work tomorrow. Its going to be a hard day to get through. I may go to work early just to make sure to get some extra work done.

Take care!

I hope all is well in Mo-town and that anyone's trip went well.

Teachers Meeting

Unlike the teachers meetings that are held at work I had an enjoyable Teacher meeting Wednesday Afternoon!
In my opinion, the meetings at work are pointless and there is no purpose. It is always just criticism and everyone feels awful. Enough said.

Pearl, Christina and I enjoyed a nice meal at VIPS. The three of together are VIP material and this occasion was a perfect way to spend a one day holiday. The atmosphere at VIPs didn’t feel like Gumi but made me feel like I was living in a different area of Korea. I enjoy that feeling so much where I don’t have to worry about who is seeing me or what I am saying.

In other words today was as close to normal of there is conceivably a thing called normal in Gumi.

In sum Christina, and Pearl are definitely VIP material and I wish that everyday could be like that.

On a beautiful Wednesday afternoon we all met at the train station just to have “normal social discourse” …

Unfortunately thats all the holidays until Christmas :(

This was a perfect way to spend a Relaxing "independence day" in Korea. Ironically this holiday wasn't much of a big deal.

Back to Kenting, Andong, Freedom

Each day that we live there are little moments known to some people as appifanys which is not even a word.... An appifany is a sudden realization or truth that becomes known.

Regardless of what happens during the day these little realizations are the pieces that are important to understanding the entire puzzle picture.

In my mind these events, happenings, or sayings keep playing back in my memory like a never ending tape recorder.

It is important to log these occurences and improve your mental projection of the world.

Events that happened in Kenting, Andong and other places remind me that there is truly a better life.

Allow me to explain:

I told my boss that with any job there is complaints. Most people in America and probably Korea hate their job. Its only for the Benjamins, Chasing after the Benjamins. Ironically, I was showing my boss my American dollar I have (Its the only one) and its a 100 dollar bill with benjamin franklin on it.

This thirst for power and hunger for money is the root of contempt and stress. My boss and I talked about Work and our personal lives. He is an interesting man and at times I can count on him as a friend but there is so much I can't tell him because he is my boss. The personal relationship just isnt there as it could be under(different) extentuating? circumstances. I swear I am forgetting English....

Maybe I have to Quit my job. maybe I have to return to America and re access my life. So many people think I should throw in the towel and walk away. I am learning to never sell myself. I dont care about the contract I care about the people I love the most and what is truly right.

I know that there is something better for me, for everyone that I am around. I am working towards a better tomorrow.

i have a birthday present on my desk that has a bear doing some research and it says Fighting on it. The kids who gave it to me dont realize how appropriate it is for me. i am the bear a lone Grizzly (UM-Missoula) home of the Grizzlies. Fighting to improve oneself in mind body and spirit.

For the time being I am choosing to stick it out and fight through everything come hell or high water.
In all seriousness I no longer care so much about this teaching job since the problems seem unfixable. I came to teach but I also realize that I have to cultivate myself and see myself for what I truly am. In other words, I came to Korea to learn about myself and I found things that are worth fighting for and working for.

I believe I am going to VIPs for lunch and hope to learn more there. I will continue this at a later time...

Andong

Septmember Andong Mask Festival with Christina!

What a week. I had 3 quick days of work and a few drinks with my boss before finally being able to leave and enjoy another weekend.

My boss is a nice guy. He never stops working and when he criticizes he always has both positive and negative feedback sometimes its hard to appreciate his company especially when its all about work.

I had some Wine on the plane and watched other foreigners get drunk, I had my usual meal with Mr. Jeong a pitcher of beer and fried chicken.

To all of my friends out there in Missoula I dont drink anymore I am not the same person I was when I was in Missoula so you can forget about Nick the man who drinks 3 days a week or more. Stupid Stupid Stupid.

So Sunday Morning... Christina and I headed to Andong. We took the bus which only took an hour. Andong is in the East and its one hour away from Gumi.

ANDONG is amazing.... The flowers were in bloom, the weather was perfect even though it rained a little. Christina and I saw some people wearing masks and SERENATiNG the crowd. Or should I say Masquerading or both??

I am forgetting how to speak sometimes

We had some bibimbob at a local cuisine and it was great only because Christina and I could enjoy our meal in solitude and talk about anything openly.

In Gumi I dont feel everything is open. Its a covert operation (covert-op) lifestyle. I give a little and my boss gives us a little if we fall below that line its misery. I am surrounded by Academy all the time.

Anyways....

We walked the streets of Andong and saw beautiful bluffs in the distance followed by a nice sliver of blue the river.

Unforuntately the trip came to a close. I am not someone who likes to see things end. It just makes me want to work harder.

When I am on these trips I am seeing Korea and actually feel like I am learning and experiencing Korea. Christina makes all of this possible I am sure.

So another week in closing and the end of the month is upon us...its time to buckle down and try to become more authoritative in the class. ~~~

October is upon us...

Kenting Part 1

Pei-chen , Ryan and I at Kenting

This is the beach where we went boating. This was a little crazy for me since swimming isn't my type of activity....

Kenting is in the very Southern area of Taiwan and its amazing....

I arrived in Taiwan at 7 pm at the Airport in Taipei. Ryan, Pei and I shared some coffee at Starbucks before going to the hotel.

The next day we drove to Kenting and stayed at the Duggar Hotel. Some Hawaiian guy's personal establishment. Duggar wouldnt leave us alone for a long time unfortunately. We unfortunately ran into some trouble and were needing some time to figure everything out

The next day we headed to the beach and swam a little after the swim we went sightseeing at a lighthouse and a quick tour seeing some waves along the coast.

Kenting is the most beautiful thing I have seen so far in Asia as far as places are concerned.

After this we began the drive back towards Taipei since I was leaving the next morning.

After getting to Taichung we stayed at Ryans house and slept there for the night. It was really nice to spend the night here even though we were only there for 6 hours and didnt sleep much.

Peichen and I took the bus to Taipei where we waited until I had to leave :(

All in all my Taiwan trip was good. It left me with many more questions but it was a good break and I learned a lot. '

More later as it is midnight plus 30 and I need some sleep

Pre holiday

Well today marks the end of September as far as Work and Chapter Units are concerned.

I had 4 tests today and they all went well.

Some of the kids who are a problem are slowly making some progress towards becoming better students^^

After finishing work at the Academy I finished my errands for my trip to Taiwan and had a couple lunches. The first was by myself and from Lotteria and the second was a hearty meal of Gal bei with my friend Bryant.

It was a wonderful time and I hope that it can happen much more before Bryant and Traci leave.


After lunch I rested comfortably in my apartment. Christina came over to see me off for Taiwan.
I am excited about my trip but a little nervous and a little sad to be leaving. It will be nice to have a few days to relax and not work. Vacations always go to fast so I will be back in the grind before too long.


I am about to venture out on a wild adventure where I am unsure where its headed. But I am driven by my darling's love that is eminating through my heart and is there to help me get through anything.


I am anxious to get to Taiwan! Its time for another Palmer wild adventure