Self Righteousness

Yesterday I got an ass chewing that left quite an impression I now have about my boss. Let me first start out by saying that there is separation between work and personal life. I dont even know if I should post this pending on the thoughts that some people may have who read this. I have no bad feelings or resentment towards anyone when it comes to after work. However, the problems at work are inadvertently being carried over to my personal life.

I am having a lot of difficulties it would appear. On the surface I am calm, composed and strong but the obstacle I am confronted with are posing some horrible dilemmas. I think my cheekbones have sunk in and my face is gaunt with big bags of blue strapped under my eyes. Truthfully, I havent felt rested in awhile and its starting to wear on me.


I am not a quitter and I refuse to complain. Jin in korean means honest.

here are a few related notes:
In my TC1 class I am teaching a chapter called "Say it with Flowers" Flowers have special meanings and apparently Orange means Beautiful and Pure so I told my class that they may give me some orange flowers "jung ja kan" or "Jin" they all think I am full of beans or silly. I can't believe how much slang I am starting to recall.

In another class I am teaching "THE GREAT PRETENDER" about Catch me if You Can and I jokingly told the class I am kind of like the great pretender. I am pretending or masquarading as a teacher. Unfortunately, in the eyes of my boss that may not be far from reality.

The truth is, is that I show up from 1 until 8:30 and I can't stay longer because I usually am stressed because of the kids. I contribute this too many factors, 1). my teaching skill 2). Being an American and not understanding as much Korean as I would like and finally 3). Academy errors

I know I need to improve my teaching but it isnt because of lack of effort or laziness. I am the reason why so many kids left the academy.


Sometimes I wonder why my boss still has me around because I have caused many mistakes.

There is another side to this though and that's the fact that my boss doesnt completely understand my position and he isn't willing to change.

I hate saying these things but I believe that if I dont find a way to make things right I will be leaving sooner than I expected.

I would like to go back to school.
I want to also travel to Europe and maybe find a new teaching system. I think I could do better at a different place.

Here is more irony ... I refuse to complain and I accept the errors in my ways. In doing so I have become more passive and accepting. I am choosing to pick my battles carefully and bide my time.
I have come to the conclusion that this experience is nothing but a stepping stone to bigger and better things and I am hoping that things can iron themselves out or more simply get better. I will make it happen and in the end I am going to have everything that's good from my Life in Korea.