Boggled with Worry

So I skipped dinner tonight. I am unfortunately too tired and a little sad to care.

Today~ I taught 7 classes again... 6 classes is too much for me. I really dont have the energy for 6 groups of kids who dont really care about me or not. I honestly dont care so much about teaching 7 classes I just wish my results were more seen. I dont think I do anything but simply play.

Its getting really hard for me to endure these episodes. I am trying to be there for them in the classroom but its just making me feel bad. Today I told one of the kids to get out of the office: I said in Korean translated: Hey lets go...(out of the office) and she left. I wish she would leave.

The kids dont respect me, they dont understand me, they get me into a lot of trouble but my blood pressure is off the roof when they interupt Christina. I am tired of the same routine. I really am going to make the kids leave the office~ I dont enjoy being talked about to my face when I dont understand what they say. They wont even try to speak english. 7 out of 10 at least. They flock over to Christina like a herd of cattle and its not to ask about anything important its just to talk. One of the kids couldnt understand why I was busy. Christina is busier than I am.

I unfortunately think I have to go eat or else I will be sick:(



My girlfriends sister had a baby today and I wish I could help her more. I dont know how and that makes me sad. Above anything I want my girlfriend to feel happy and to have everything she wants. I Love her so much and its the only thing that keeps me going here as far as my teaching. I worry about everything. Nick Worry Palmer that's my name. As bob Marley says
Dont worry bout a thing, Cause every little things gonna be alright~ I hope so. Truly more than anything I have ever wanted its my goal to do anything I can.


I went to the library to help Christina study English. I read my book and she studied English. As I have said before her English ability is well above average. The fact that we can have a communication as easy as a member in my family is proof.
I want more than anything to get her into a school and/or just find a good job.

I was reading Studying Abroad in a class today and there was a picture of grad students together celebrating their accomplishment. It made me sad that my 3 best friends couldnt even get a picture with me before we departed. I am coming to the conclusion that none of my friends communicate well with me.

I dont get many emails and I dont get many people who have wanted to come visit me. Its kind of weird. Am I a strange person? I am starting to feel like an alien here. Maybe because not only have I not heard from people but I am pretty sure many of my friendships have ended as a result of my coming here. Unfortunately I just feel really bad right now maybe its just an evening thing or maybe because I am feeling unsure right now either way all I know is that this is the end of this story.

Tomorrow its back to work~ should be a real easy day and a chance to get things done. I want to find a way to be better at work.


Maybe this will be a 2 part story. I am going to go for another walk and maybe end my ban on Mcdonalds I dont feel so well at the moment.